Through The Eyes of A Midwife

Upon arrival I heard your noises, saw the patterns, and felt the energy. 

Pushing will be underway soon. 

I began to set my things up, feeling grateful for a quick and easy birth. I just came from a marathon labor. Two days with that mama. 

Most midwives know that when the divine sends a baby earth side like the wind, a wind that suddenly appears and quickly leaves, things are just as they should be and complications are rare.

I sat by the tub expecting to see your body begin to push.

And it did.

“Do you want to catch your baby?”

“I don’t know if I can.”

You wanted to. I felt it in my bones.

“If the baby comes in my direction I will catch him. If the baby comes in your direction. You will catch him. Does that sound good? I will help you.” 

“Yes I can do this.”

“Yes you can.”

On your hands and knees, your baby began to crown. Through the waters I could see him rotate and I knew he was aiming for me.

But just as he slowly entered his entire body into the tub, I firmly moved the water in such a way that he had to glide forward between your legs to you. 

“He’s coming your way. Grab him and bring him to your chest.”

You pulled him out of the water onto your belly and you both started crying. 

I’m so happy you got to catch your baby ❤️ 

Cultivating sexual energy through deer breast massage.

What is deer breast massage?

It balances the left and right side of our body through sexual energy and links our sexual organs to our heart.

How?

Place left hand over your womb. That spot just below your pubic bone.

Place right hand on your right breast and massage in gentle circles.

Squeeze your pelvic floor and inhale, drawing up that juicy energy vibrating in your pelvis to your right breast.

Exhale and stroke down the right breast.

Sit with this energy for a few breaths and listen to what your body is saying.

Now move left hand to left breast and right hand to your womb. Repeat!

This is a lovely way to start your day or end your night.

Our womb and heart are connected. An open heart opens the yoni. A healthy sexual expression unfolds. It anchors and grounds and keeps us tapped into what our body is saying to us. We feel deeply connected to ourselves.

The Wisdom Emerges During Our Empty

🩸🩸🩸🩸

When I feel lost 

scattered 

ungrounded

I will bring myself to wallow in my cycle.

I bring my awareness to it. 

If I am bleeding I relax

daydream 

withdraw from civilization and let myself experience the comings and goings of the natural world in the day. 

When I can feel my blood literally leave my body there is a sense of peace; I’m just being

soft

raw

wild

saved from the sense of doom.

No amount of civilization will bind me. My cycle is my role model, my body my teacher. 

It is healing to be alone, quiet and undisturbed, able to rest and retreat for at least a few hours while I am bleeding, 

a day or two even better,

the entire bleeding time, well that would be so lovely.

It is so simple to follow the wisdom of the body,

to slow down and follow the beckoning 

to focus internally during the bleed 

with no work

no need to relate 

no pressure to be anything other than myself in this moment 

empty and open

open womb open thighs open knees open ankles open heart and I let go and empty.

Then 

the wisdom emerges during the emptiness. Towards the middle to the end of my bleeding is often where I find this power. Pay attention to your emptiness. 

I would love to withdraw every month 

a sabbath 

to listen and dance with my hearts desire and then to figure out how to get it.

Every month this is available to us, this working with a wisdom

a microcosm of the universe.

Dropping Soon! December 2025

Cycle Alchemy is my guided PDF designed to help you reconnect with your feminine wisdom, your rhythm.

Inside, you’ll find:

Rituals + journal prompts for every phase

Embodiment + nervous system practices

Ways to transform your bleed into a sacred renewal.

This is for women ready to remember. Your body already knows the way.

Connecting with Your Baby In Utero, From Conscious Conception Through the Third Trimester.

Pregnancy is not just about growing a baby. We are also weaving a relationship, the sacred motherbaby dyad.

From the very moment you open yourself to conception, a thread of connection begins to form.

In this post I invite you to slow down, listen deeply, and nurture that bond through every stage of your journey.

Conscious Conception. We are inviting a Soul.

Before the physical pregnancy even begins, there is an energetic conversation happening.

The spirit of your baby may hover near, waiting, watching, choosing.

Conscious conception is about creating space for that connection.

It’s not about control, but about awareness to prepare your body, mind, and womb to receive with intention.

Ways to connect:

Womb meditation: Place a hand over your womb and breathe warmth into it. Imagine light gathering there, an invitation.

Write a letter: “Dear little soul, if and when you’re ready, I’m here.”

Tend your temple: Nourish your body with whole foods, rest, and gentle movement. Use this tending as a signal to your baby’s spirit that it is safe to arrive.

Release expectations: Allow the timing and form of conception to unfold as it’s meant to. You are opening, not forcing.

First Trimester. Whisper & Listen

In these early weeks, connection is soft and inward.

The world may not yet know, but your body and baby are in constant conversation.

Ways to connect:

Morning womb ritual: Greet your baby with a gentle touch over your womb. Whisper, “We’re in this together.”

Journal reflections: Write to your baby about how you found out, what you’re feeling, and what you’re dreaming of for them.

Honor your changing rhythms: Rest is connection. Nourishment is love.

Candle ritual: Light one each week to honor your baby’s growth and the transformation within you.

This is a season of trust. The unseen is still deeply real.

Second Trimester. Speak, Feel, Imagine.

The quickening brings life into form. The unfolding brings flutters, heartbeats, belly rounds.

This is when connection begins to feel embodied.

Ways to connect:

Talk and sing to your baby: The sound of your voice is already home to them.

Belly massage: With each gentle circle, imagine golden light wrapping around your baby.

Create shared joy: Dance. Walk barefoot. Spend time in nature. Your emotions are energy your baby feels.

Partner connection: Invite your partner or loved ones to place their hands on your belly and speak words of love or gratitude.

Lullaby creation : Create a song that feel like you and your baby’s connected energy. Sing this to them throughout pregnancy, during labor, and after their birth.

Your baby learns through your joy. Let yourself feel pleasure and expansion. It’s a lesson in safety for them.

Third Trimester. Anchor & Prepare

As your due time approaches, the bond you’ve built begins to ground into readiness.

Your baby is listening, learning, preparing to meet you earthside.

Ways to connect:

Womb breathing: Inhale calm, exhale spaciousness. Imagine your breath moving from your heart space to your womb and wrapping your baby in love.

Birth visualization: See yourself birthing with strength and trust. Feel your baby’s presence, working with you.

Movement as communication: Walk, sway, or stretch slowly, feeling how your baby moves in response.

Nesting ritual: Create a sacred corner in your home with a candle, soft blanket, and affirmations. This is an altar for your motherhood.

Speak gratitude: Each night, thank your baby for choosing you, for teaching you, for growing with you.

The veil between worlds is thin. Your baby’s spirit is both within and beyond. Lean into that mystery.

The Power of Conscious Connection in Birth.

When we take time to connect with our baby throughout pregnancy through presence, touch, ritual, and pleasure, you are also preparing for birth in the deepest way possible.

You’re not just growing a baby, you’re attuning your nervous system, softening your edges, and learning the language of trust.

In birth, that connection becomes your compass.

When sensations rise, your baby already knows your rhythm. Your body knows how to open. Your breath knows how to guide you both through.

Birth, then, is not something done to you. It’s a shared dance between two beings who already know each other intimately.

This is the essence of The Erotic Blueprint of Birth. It’s a merging of sensuality, intuition, and physiology.

When a birthing person feels safe, connected, and honored, oxytocin flows. Pleasure and power coexist. The body remembers how to open, how to receive, how to surrender.

So keep tending this connection. Each conversation, breath, and touch is the foundation of a birth that is not just safe, but sacred.

You and your baby are already co-creating something so lovely!

It Is A Powerful Way

They want to take away the pain and the work and the individuality of labor.

They want to take away the magic where personal reality and liminal space births us into stronger mothers, stronger women.

Nothing has been gained by numbing ourselves and handing over our courage to a bunch of white coats who cannot read body without machines

who cannot hear the universe talk. 

Cause believe me 

when we are this close to the threshold of life

the universe talks. 

We still have the highest maternal and infant mortality rates among all developed countries

number 56 

despite the God complex.

All that they want us to have of our transcendence is a cog in their wheel that has been drained of its significance 

but lines the pockets of hospitals and insurance companies. 

Birth births us into mothers. 

We root ourselves in this human experience.

No one else knows the textures of the reality that is our labor 

and its rhythms that pull us through.

We are alone in this and we need to taste this bodily primal world. 

We need this. 

We need to see what is us in the mystery of things and what is man made.

This is one way we can claim our motherhood. 

This is one way we navigate a world that is inundated with electronically engineered pleasure.

This is one way we can show our babies and our lovers how to surrender and love and play in the divine lightness and darkness.

It is a powerful way.

Once upon a time

there was a mother

and a mother before her

and a mother before her

who brought their babies earth side through cesarean.

3 generations

every baby.

Then one day the young mother gave birth vaginally.

She was the first of the 3 women.

And when this news was told at the birth

the midwife’s heart expanded. She could feel in her chest the utter importance and power of it all.

The ancestors smiled on the mothers and the midwife was grateful to have witnessed.

The First 40 Days: Postpartum Healing as Sacred Rest

The first forty days after birth are a sacred window, a time to rest, heal, and be reborn alongside your baby. This ancient practice of postpartum confinement, sometimes called the golden month, honors the deep transformation happening in your body and spirit.

Here are a few of my favorite ways to tend to your healing: a nourishing womb-healing soup, a DIY herbal sitz bath, and a bathing ritual to share with your newborn.

Let’s return to the art of postpartum care, slow, tender, and sacred.

Why the First 40 Days Matter

In many traditional cultures, the first forty days are seen as a vital reset, a time when a birthing person’s body, blood, and spirit reweave themselves into balance.

When you slow down and honor your recovery, you:

• Support womb healing and hormonal balance

• Strengthen milk supply

• Protect long-term pelvic health

• Deepen emotional bonding with your baby

• Rebuild vitality for years to come

This time is sacred. Rest is medicine. Nourishment is ritual.

🍲 Nourishing Womb-Healing Soup

Warm, mineral-rich foods help your womb contract, rebuild blood, and restore your strength. This soup is simple, grounding, and deeply restorative.

Ingredients:

• 1 tbsp ghee or coconut oil

• 1 small onion, chopped

• 2 cloves garlic, minced

• 1 inch fresh ginger, sliced

• 1 tsp turmeric powder

• 1 cup red lentils (rinsed)

• 6 cups bone broth or vegetable broth

• 1 cup chopped carrots

• 1 cup leafy greens (spinach or kale)

• Sea salt to taste

• Optional: squeeze of lemon or drizzle of sesame oil

Directions:

1. Warm ghee in a large pot and sauté onion, garlic, and ginger until fragrant.

2. Stir in turmeric and lentils. Add broth and bring to a simmer.

3. Cook 20–25 minutes until lentils are soft. Add carrots and greens.

4. Season and finish with lemon or sesame oil.

Sip slowly, wrapped in blankets. Let this soup remind your womb that she is safe to rest and repair.

🌿 DIY Herbal Sitz Bath for Soothing + Healing

A sitz bath offers gentle support for perineal healing, reducing swelling and inflammation while infusing your tissues with plant medicine.

Herbal Blend:

• 1 cup calendula

• 1 cup comfrey leaf

• ½ cup lavender

• ½ cup yarrow

• ½ cup rose petals

To prepare:

1. Boil 2 quarts of water and pour over 1 cup of your herb blend.

2. Cover and steep for 20–30 minutes. Strain before use.

3. Pour into a shallow basin or bath.

How to use:

Sit in the infusion for 10–15 minutes. Repeat daily or as needed.

As you soak, imagine your womb drawing in healing energy from the plants and water, closing, toning, and returning to rhythm.

🛁 Bathing Ritual for Mother + Baby

Once you feel ready and baby’s cord has fallen off, you can share a gentle herbal bath, a ritual of bonding, cleansing, and rebirth.

You’ll need:

• Warm bath water

• A handful of rose petals or sitz herbs

• Quiet music or silence

Ritual Steps:

1. Add herbs and petals to the bath.

2. Hold your baby skin-to-skin against your chest.

3. Breathe together, letting the water carry away exhaustion.

4. Whisper blessings: “We are whole. We are healing. We are home.”

5. Wrap in towels and rest together.

This ritual reminds your body and spirit that birth is not an ending — it’s a beginning.

Closing Words

The first forty days are not meant for rushing or “bouncing back.” They are for becoming.

Let others care for you.
Feed yourself warm foods.
Keep your womb warm.
And remember, the way you mother yourself now becomes the soil from which you mother your baby.

Honor your rest. Tend your womb. Trust the rhythm of renewal.

Cycle Alchemy

Honoring the flow tonight.

We mostly just stuff things in us

and pay no attention 

with scented yuck

and pills that alter. 

“This will take care of our mess!”

Liberated out of our bodies

out of our wild 

into secret bathrooms alone 

bleeding 

ashamed or indifferent. 

Liberated 🙄

“They” keep us from tapping into a vastness.

One of feminine wisdom

creative energy  

self love 

intuition. 

“But we are unclean! Victimized by a monthly parasite! We must sanitize that shit!”

Civilized and greedy 

afraid of the raw power

the mystery 

we are trained to ignore and suppress.

But I invite you to seek out its specialness. 

At the very least 

look at your attitude

especially while bleeding.

This simple act alone will pull you closer to yourself

giving you opportunities to walk the hedge

that magical place between worlds.

*********************************

COMING SOON!

Cycle Alchemy is almost here, a loving guide to reclaim your menstrual rhythm as holy ground. This is not just a guide but it’s a remembrance. A way back into intimacy with your body, your creativity, and your sacred rhythm.

Ceremony

I woke with the sun to prepare for tomorrows herbal bathing. I will do this every morning for the next few days. 

I walked my property singing and humming prayers to the 

Wild grape 

Clover 

Calendula

Sow thistle

Plantain 

Mallow

Lilies

Rose 

and allowed myself to bleed onto the ground as I did so. 

It should not come as a surprise that I stroll around singing the sun up while in a dress and no undergarments 

offering my blood.

It Happens Sometimes

It happens sometimes.

You do all the things! 

ALL. THE. THINGS.

You prepare in all the ways.

You connect with your growing belly.

You love on your partner. 

You welcome the labor and birth.

You have the best team.

You do everything right. 

And yet still, STILL, you do not get your homebirth with your midwife.

You labor for 3 days.

3 days of contractions.

3 days of emotions.

3 days of anticipation.

3 days of VERY hard work without a break.

And at the end of that third day, you do not meet your baby at home.

Sometimes we are given the cards we are given without rhyme or reason.

And its painful.

Just as painful as the 3 days of labor.

And it’s ok to mourn your birth.

It’s ok to love on your baby while also

loathing your experience.

It happens sometimes.

And at the end of day 3 postpartum

when your milk flows and the tears flow

It is also ok to look back on your unexpected hospital birth with unexpected Joy.

And to feel guilty about the unexpected joy. 

It is ourselves as mothers.

Journal Prompts for Your VBAC Journey

Preparing for a VBAC can stir up a wide range of feelings—hope, excitement, fear, uncertainty, and deep desire. Journaling is a beautiful way to make space for all of those emotions, connect with your body, and cultivate trust in your journey. These prompts are meant to guide you inward, helping you process, release, and reclaim your birth story as you prepare for what’s ahead.

Reflecting on the Past

• What feelings surface when I think about my previous birth experience?

• What part of that story still feels tender, and what part feels empowering?

• What would I like to release from my last birth?

Connecting to Your Body

• How does my body feel when I imagine birthing vaginally?

• What are three ways I can honor and care for my body during this pregnancy?

• What messages does my womb or belly hold for me today?

Cultivating Trust & Strength

• What does trust in my body look like, feel like, sound like?

• Who or what reminds me of my strength?

• Write a love letter to yourself, affirming your ability to birth.

Envisioning Your VBAC

• Close your eyes and imagine your VBAC unfolding. What do you see, hear, feel?

• Who do I want present in my birth space, and why?

• If my birth could be a sacred story, how would I tell it?

Integration & Intention

• What lessons from my past birth are guiding me now?

• How do I want to feel as I step into labor this time?

• What does a healed, whole birth story mean to me?

These prompts aren’t about finding “perfect” answers, they’re an invitation to sit with your truth, to listen to your body, and to honor the fullness of your journey. May your journaling be a companion on your path toward a birth that feels deeply yours.

10 Things I Know With My Entire Being (After 15 Years as a Midwife)

1. Birth is not a medical event. It is Holy ground. I can feel in my own body the veil thin place where life and death hold hands.

2. The cervix is not a stop watch. Time bends. Progress is not linear. Slow is sacred too. Patience is vital.

3. You can’t coach a woman into power. You witness it. You get out of the way and honor her knowing. Trust she will find it.

4. There is no such thing as “just” a homebirth. The walls have seen prayers, primal screams, orgasms, and resurrections.

5. The body remembers how to open. Even when the mind is afraid. Even when the culture forgets.

6. Softness is strength. The bravest thing I will ever see is a woman who softens into the wild rhythm of birth moving through her.

7. We need less management and more reverence. Less control. More awe. Less protocol. More presence. Less ego. More kneeling as students at the feet of the forces.

8. Not all emergencies come with sirens. Trust your skills. Read body and energy of womb and room. Listen with your bones.

9. Birth is erotic. It’s messy and raw and it’s also sensual, sovereign, and fiercely alive.

10. We don’t deliver babies. We serve women We protect the portal. We remember what the world tries to forget. From the knowing in our bodies, we offer healing and wisdom to the heart of our community.

Loyalty to the Process of Birth.

Patiently waiting.

Waiting on a baby for over 24 hours as a midwife is remaining unmoved.

It is trusting that the right actions will arise by themselves.

Trusting that there is a story being revealed.

Trusting in the process and the Fates.

No interruptions of the unfolding! 

Maybe the right word isn’t patience then.

Maybe its loyalty. 

Patience is waiting for the settling mud to reveal the clearness of water.

It is waiting for something better to happen.

Loyalty is a love and dedication to what you care about.

Loyalty to the process. 

Loyalty to the time constructed by the Fates.

Loyalty to that ripening and baring of the fruit, not just the fruit.

Loyalty to the dedication to seeing it through before it’s plucked too soon. 

We all know plucking a piece of fruit before it’s time leaves marks on the fruit bearer and blemishes on the fruit. 

Birth is like this.

So similar to the fruit trees. 

Many things are like this actually.